“All Too Well: The Short Film” and What It Teaches Us About Romantic Relationships
The song “All Too Well” by Taylor Swift is my all-time favorite song. On New Year’s Day 2019, the reputation stadium tour movie was released on Netflix. In the movie, Taylor performed her song “All Too Well” on acoustic guitar, and it was that single performance that made me want to play guitar, and the first song I learned to play was “All Too Well”.
Ever since “All Too Well” was released, Taylor hinted at the fact that the 5-minute song was originally 10 minutes long, and since then, fans have begged Taylor to release the full song. In her re-recorded album of Red released in 2021, Taylor not only added a 10-minute version of “All Too Well” (which debuted at #1 on the Billboard charts) but she released All Too Well: The Short Film starring Sadie Sink, Dylan O’Brien, and, of course, Taylor Swift herself.
On social media, everybody who talks about the film simply talks about how horrible and toxic O’Brien’s character is. If you’re a teenager who has seen this film, you likely have seen similar opinions and think them yourself. The truth is, there is so much more depth to this relationship and so much more to learn from it. It’s not as simple as just saying that “he’s terrible and she can do no wrong”.
So, I want to talk about why All Too Well: The Short Film is so great as well as the Entertainment Values and lessons we can take from it.
Why All Too Well: The Short Film Is So Special:
If you look up practically any article ranking Taylor Swift’s songs, “All Too Well” is almost always on top. It’s just objectively a very well-written song. It’s sad, it’s specific, it’s vulnerable, and it has an incredible bridge. I believe that All Too Well: The Short Film was so successful because it perfectly displayed the feeling of the song as well as the specificity of the song.
The “All Too Well” scarf (mentioned throughout the song) is incredibly iconic, and in the short film, Sadie Sink’s character is wearing a red scarf, and then later in the film, Dylan O’Brien’s character is wearing the same scarf years later:
“I left my scarf there at your sister’s house/And you’ve still got it in your drawer even now.”
“But you keep my old scarf/From that very first week/’Cause it reminds you of innocence/And it smells like me/You can’t get rid of it/’Cause you remember it all too well.”
“All Too Well” - Taylor Swift
The whole film has an almost mystical and all-consuming feeling to it. Everything is autumn-themed (like “All Too Well” and the album “Red” as a whole). There is a strong aesthetic and a nostalgic, heart-breaking feeling throughout the film.
One of my favorite shots in the film is of Sink and O’Brien dancing around a dimly lit kitchen during the lyric, “And there we are again in the middle of the night/We danced around the kitchen in the refrigerator light”. I remember watching this scene for the first time and just feeling so excited that my favorite song was brought to life in such a magical way.
I could go on and on about the beauty of this film and why it’s so special, but those are just a few examples.
The Naivety of Sink’s Character:
One of the strongest themes of this video comes from the naivety of Sadie Sink’s young character (representing Taylor Swift and her perspective in the song).
“All Too Well” has always been rumored to be about 20-year-old Swift’s relationship with 28-year-old Jake Gyllenhaal. So, it makes sense that Swift wanted to portray the experience that inspired the song in the film of a young, naive girl in a relationship with an older, more experienced man (O’Brien’s character).
Throughout the film, it is clear that Sink’s character is young, naive, and blindly in love. Sink’s character also can’t communicate her needs and frustrations to O’Brien’s character, and this can be seen during the argument scene in the film. She is clearly upset with him, but he doesn’t really care to try and understand why, and then she ends up just forgiving him because she feels stupid.
In this scene, people always criticize O’Brien for gaslighting her and not caring about her frustration. I’m certainly not trying to deny his terrible behavior, but Sink’s character does show her naivety and her inability/embarrassment to express her feelings. It becomes clear that she is the girl who is blindly in love despite his many red flags.
Sink’s character is being manipulated and gaslit in her relationship, and this happens to a lot of people, especially young women. I’m a young woman, and I’m sure many of you reading are too. I believe it’s important for us to stand up for ourselves in our relationships and also be aware of our naivety and learn to not put ourselves in situations where we end up enduring bad behavior from men because we are blindly in love or are embarrassed to express our feelings.
“No one loves harder or falls harder than a girl that’s never truly been in love before and never been hurt before.”
Caylee Hammack - Small Town Hypocrite (Story Behind The Song) (Check out this video, it’s an incredible story and song!)
I love this quote from one of my favorite country artists, and I think it’s so important for us to realize the truth behind this quote. Naivety when it comes to love is a beautiful and innocent thing, but it’s also dangerous. If we can are aware of it, we can love deeply without ending up in a terrible relationship.
The Power of Extreme Passion & Intimacy:
“All Too Well” is inherently a break-up song exploring the painful memory of lost love. “I remember it all too well” is the hook of the song. In the film, it’s clear that there was so much passion between the two characters, particularly on the girl’s side. They were so in love, incredibly intimate, and almost closed off from the real world.
When you watch the film or hear the song, the relationship between the two is represented in an almost spiritual and idolatry way (at the start of the film, Sink’s character asks O’Brien’s character, “Are you real? I feel like I made you up,”). There is so much mesmerization between the two, and this makes it especially difficult for Sink’s character to see the reality of the relationship and see the negative qualities of O’Brien’s character.
This can just be seen as an aspect of being in love, but All Too Well: The Short Film specifically shows the danger of this feeling when it’s directed toward the wrong person, which is what naivety can make you do.
The whole film ends with Sink’s character in the future (played by Swift) doing a reading of her book titled “All Too Well” about the relationship shown in the film. Sink’s character writing the book mirrors Swift writing the song “All Too Well” and continuing to share it years and years later.
It’s fascinating that a relationship can be so intimate and passionate that you can write a story about it that lives with you and others for years to come. But not only will you remember the relationship “all too well”, but you’ll remember the pain and heartbreak of it, too.
The lesson here is that emotional and physical intimacy is immeasurably powerful and can stick with you long after it ends, so it’s important to be cautious in relationships. To quote “Fifteen”, another Taylor Swift song, “Don’t forget to look before you fall”. I think that lyric sums up the strongest lessons of the film, and is certainly something we should all live by.
With all this, you should totally watch All Too Well: The Short Film if you haven’t already because it’s the best song and a beautiful film. Once, I watched the film with a bunch of my parents' friends and it spurred an incredible conversation about many of the topics I’ve discussed in this article. There is so much to think about after watching this film, and I hope you enjoyed a few of my observations.
Written by Peyton Price - Entertainment Values
